Why Do You Turn Away ?

I am a little bit of loneliness, a little bit of disregard. Handful of complaints but I can’t help the fact that everyone can see these scars. I am what I want you to want, what I want you to feel. But it's like no matter what I do, I can't convince you, to just believe this is real. So I let go, watching you, turn your back like you always do. Face away and pretend that I'm not. But I'll be here 'cause you're all that I got. I am a little bit insecure a little unconfident Cause you don't understand , I do what I can but sometimes I don't make sense. I am what you never wanna say but I've never had a doubtIt's like no matter what I do I can't convince you for once just to hear me out. So I let go watching you turn your back like you always do. i know am jinxed and you feel uncomfortable now. I don't say it but then I know you feel it. Things aren't the same between us now. Thats's what i feel.

Wish time could turn back.

I

Why An Innocent Baby Is Suffering ?

I have no answer to this nor am I looking for an answer as I know that no one can answer this. Some people say that he'll be fine, others say that it'll take time, get mercy killing done, his end is near, don't make him suffer, god take him away peacefully if he's not gonna recover....this is what various people have to say. And then..... there is the vet who kindles hope in me that he'll recover. A peaceful face with a little worry and at the same time a smile is the expression the vet always has.

Whom do I believe ? My heart and mind both are numb. I am very scared as to what will happen to my little baby. I don't wanna loose him but at that same time I can't see him dragging himself, not eating a gospel, not being able to urinate, crying in middle of the night and looking at me helplessly as he can't express his pain and I can't understand why he wails. I hug him and make him lie close to me so that he feels owned and secured. Forcibly make him have a few spoons of milk and water.

He used to run and come to me when I said " Do you wanna have a chocolate or a coffe bite or an eclair? " Sniffing my handbag for his favourite sweets or chocolates, running behind us for sweets, egg and chicken. Now, he doesn't wanna eat any of these. He turns his face away. Running everywhere, rolling down to get cuddled, quietly jumping on the bed and teasing me, sitting outside the kitched wagging his tail for his favourite Gajar Ka Halwa.....this is all he used to do and now lying down in one place or dragging himself to other. Can't stop my tears.......He is in pain. Alot of pain.

Why ?? I can't see him like this. I only pray that if he has more time to live then please Almighty make him mobile so that he is able to urinate himself rather than lying down n catching other ailments. If not then please take him peacefully without any further suffering.

I am not being selfish or too strong by saying this. He is my precious baby and I love him alot but then I don't want him to suffer. I know what I feel when I say this. My heart and soul cries..........

Those who read this blog please pray for my little one.

For The One I Cherish and Owe My Life To.....

Time and again I have seenPlaces full of green grassWith flowers scattered all aroundA soothing breeze cools the skin.
Time and again I stumbled and fellOnly to find dead leaves, dried grassWithered flowers that lost their fragrance long agoA warm breeze pierces the skin.
Then from nowhere…You came and brought sunshinePlaced that constant smile on my lipsGave that extra bounce to my steps.
You came in glory…Finding me in my hiding placeOffering your handShining, leading the way through.
Now, my days are brighterFull of life and promise,You gave a new significance to my life…I love you…
"You're the best thing that ever happened to me."

Empty Within

Looking out the window,I see cloudy skies, Not a single star shines.
A cold air blows,S ends chills upon my spine. I see lights from a distance Creating shadows. All alone I stand by my window Awaiting the light of day...Blue skies and stars glimmer in the distance And a full moon’s rays casting shadows upon my hand as I write. Lampposts light the street down below. A lonely, well-lighted street With cars parked alongside darkly-lit houses. There’s stillness in the air. The trees stand tall their leaves and branches unmoving. Dogs bark at a distance As a cock crows,Thoughts ...Memories...Creating a hazy scene of silence . I stand here all alone feeling a strange emptiness.

Dedicated to MUAH BABY........

Hey there,
We all go through this phase and Guilt is no solution. You are a wonderful son as you care and think about them. That's what matters. You are what you are. And even they know it that you care for them. Family is important and spending time with them is essential. They can be wrong but then somewhere we also go wrong. Space is required but not to the extent that we forget each other. You don't have to feel so bad as you not at fault. This happens. Trivial reasons can form big barriers and its never too late to break them.ITs great that you are ready t take a stp foward. Remember the day when you wished him Father's Day....he must have been very happy inside. A "How are you n how was your day ?" will do wonders. Strength of love and compassion holds when weakness knocks the door. It always finds the way to cover up the hurtful mistakes with some super glue. A forgive and forget and learn to love again.
Family is one who will be by your side through out your entire life. They are the people who cherish you and turn to you when everything is going wrong. your parents show you how to do the most important things in life which are to love and to be loved. They also give you the chance to do whatever you choose in life without making you do what they want you to. Family is what will always be by your side and you feel that they deserve the most credit for forming the person who to care, to love, and to fight. Remember that you really are a wonderful son. never doubt it.

Really Wanna...........

I may be innocent..I may know many things, I may be ignorant..Or I could ride with kings and conquer many lands..Or win this world at cards and let it slip my hands..I could be destroyed a thousand times..Reborn as fortunes child to judge anothers crimes..Or wear this pilgrims cloak, or be a common thief..Ive kept this single faith, I have but one belief..I still love you..I still want you..A thousand times the mysteries unfold themselves...On and on the mysteries unwind themselves..Eternities still unsaid..til you love me...So many riches, so many souls..Everything we see we want to possess......but then what do I do? Am on the crossroad and don’t know where to go!!!!

Who's at Fault...?

Hello me...Meet the real me.And my misfits way of life.A dark black past is myMost valued possession.Hindsight is always 20-20,But looking back it's still a bit fuzzy.Speak of mutually assured destruction?Nice story...Tell it to Reader's Digest!!!Feeling paranoidTrue enemy or false friend?Anxiety's attacking me, andMy air is getting thin.I'm in trouble for the thingsI haven't got to yet.I'm chomping at the bit, and myPalms are getting wet, sweating bulletsHello me...It's me again.You can subdue, but never tame me.It gives me a migraine headacheThinking down to your level.Yea, just keep on thinking it's my faultAnd stay an inch or two outta kicking distance.Mankind has got to knowHis limitations.Feeling claustrophobic,Like the walls are closing in.Blood stains on my hands andI don't know where I've been.I'm in trouble for the thingsI haven't got to yet.I'm sharpening the axe and myPalms are getting wet, sweating bulletsWell, me...it's nice talking to myself,A credit to dementia.Some day you too will know my pain,And smile its black tooth grin.If the war inside my headWon't take a day off I'll be dead.My icy fingers claw your back,Here I come again.Once you committed meNow you've acquitted meClaiming validityFor your stupidityI'm chomping at the bitI'm sharpening the axeHere I come again, whoa!Sweating bullets