Sunday, December 21, 2008


I AM READY FOR THE STORM........

The waves crash in and the tide pulls out.

It's an angry sea but there is no doubt,

That the lighthouse will keep shining in the night.

To warn the lonely sailor.

The lightning strikes and the wind cuts cold

Through the sailor's bones, to the sailor's soul

'Till there's nothing left that he can hold

Except the roaring ocean

Give me mercy for my dreams,

'cause every confrontaion

Seems to tell me what it really means to be a lonely sailor

But when the sky begins to clear

and the sun it melts away my fear

I cry a silent, weary tear at those that mean to love me

Distance it is no real friend, and time will take its time

And you will find that in the end it brings you near a lonely sailor

But when you take me by your side, you love me warm,

you love me

And I should've realized I had no reason to be frightened

Now...I am ready for the storm.......

Friday, December 19, 2008




What was once cute and fluffy but became a bloody, rotten mess?


Yes...a rotten mess. The Chinese are smasing alive Racoon bears on the ground for fur...How inhumane. The cubs are helplessly caged and they bleed...My heart went out...don't they feel who are doing it?


However, do you think of life, a beating heart, and receptiveness to stimulants, feelings, and a struggle for survival amidst tremendous odds? Take a minute to stop and think of this; after all, animals aren’t the cuddly stuffed toys that you see in department stores. They are living, breathing creatures, given a life just as we humans have. They too have to live, eat, survive, and live their lives. But there is a huge difference between the way animals live and the way humans live. Animals have to struggle for survival; they have to fight for their lives. They do not people to help take care of their babies for them, to cook for them, no family members for guidance and help – the things that humans tend to take for granted. No. Animals are solely on their own from the minute they take their first breath to the minute they take their last. They have to eat for survival, defend themselves with nothing except themselves, build their own homes, take care of and protect their young. To them life is an extremely tough existence, and they have to make do with whatever they have and cannot demand for anything more. Sounds kind of harsh, doesn’t it? Yes, that’s an animal’s life! The world today is becoming less aware of the pain and suffering being inflicted on animals. As a result, animals are becoming even more and more downtrodden in society. Humans have, and continue to, treat animals as if they are property, as if we can own and therefore control their lives and what happens to them. This is immoral, animals are here for themselves, animals have their own lives, and they think, have feelings, feel pain, require love (from their own species), feel emotional hurt, have families, and everything else that humans do. To just simply say that non-human animals should have no rights because they’re “defective” is a mindless statement! People come to this “conclusion” because they come up with some mindless babble like, non-human animals can’t talk, drive cars or vote, and therefore they have no non-tradable properties. Well answer me this; do non-human animals have the right to exist in their natural environment and express behavior that matter to them? We withhold non-human animals the very basic rights, simply because they don’t resemble humans. Since they have it so harsh, why do we humans take pleasure from inflicting pain on them, from killing them? They have no defense; they do not have guns and rifles, they do not make traps and snares, nor can they retaliate. Hunting, poaching and shooting for pleasure, or “sport”, is both sadistic and extremely cruel. Sadistic because, you kill something that cannot defend itself in any way, something who can run only so far away from you before you catch it. Poaching an animal because of its beautiful ivory tusks or its strong horn is very unfair and signifies greed. Humans can get anything they want, they can buy anything they want in a store, but these beautiful assets of tusks and horns are God-given, and they are the elephants’ and the rhinos’ to keep, they are a part of their body. The same goes for snake and crocodile hides; they are the reptiles’ skins! If only poachers could stop to think and imagine themselves being shot down by a huge crocodile or an elephant, and then be stripped of parts of their bodies, they could be a little more compassionate.


It dosn't end here....A group of people go into the countryside on horseback with a large pack of dogs and chase the first unfortunate little fox, rabbit or bear they see. The dogs do the chasing; the hunters merely follow along. Needless to say, the dogs tear up the animal upon catching it, and the hunters stand there on their horses and cheer. Yes, this is a popular “sport”!

Another extremely disturbing aspect of animal cruelty is animal testing. Animals are literally being tortured to death by substances such as drugs, cosmetics, diseases, tobacco, alcohol, detergents and other poisons. After all these acts of cruelty such as locking animals in complete darkness, literally driving them insane – the goal, believe it or not, is actually mental insanity – and then turning them in to drug addicts, inflicting diseases such as Aids and cancer, disabling them by turning them blind or deaf, and… there has even been cases of dogs being sewn together, and many cases of mice, rabbits, guinea pigs and even monkeys having cosmetics, detergents and other household products rubbed into their shaven skin and having it drip into their eyes, while being under no anesthetic at all… All for what reason, what does this achieve? We are only finding out things we already know such as we know smoking causes cancer, drinking ruins the liver and we know the side effects of drugs on humans and the results from these experiments are not totally 100% accurate anyway because animals are different to humans. After years of developing science and technology why do we still use these unreliable and inhumanely cruel methods to find out little or no information about cures for diseases? Shouldn’t all the money and effort spent be spent on preventing these diseases in the first place by changing the environment around them instead of using all these inhumane tests on all these animals to prove nothing?
Animals are abused everyday of our lives, and right now, 100's are being tortured and killed around the world. You'd be lying if you said you'd never witnessed an act of cruelty towards an animal. But what I want to know is what did you do about it? Stop it or forget about it? There are so many problems in our world; why does animal cruelty have to be one of them?

Man is capable of the worst and of the best. We are easily capable of loving and of hating, of being clear-sighted and blind. And our relationship with the remaining animal world is a big illustration of that very fact.Animal cruelty can run the gamut from the unintentional neglect to the intentional torture of an animal.

WAKE UP...AND PLEASE SO SOMETHING...JUST THINK WHAT IF WE WERE SMASHED, BESKINNED, BEHEADED AND TESTED.

Tuesday, July 22, 2008

Miss you so much...Am withering away

This day is very dull without you without your laughs without your voice Without your sound without your "ONLY" !This day is standing still seconds feel like light years food tastes sour Without you, everything has gone wrong.Will you call me tonight my dear? Is a question which has no answer . will you come in my dreams.You are my love, you are my life.My door is always open for you, Because without you I feel so blue
I miss you so much!
I won’t tell you all my life I have waited for youI won’t tell you my love is deep and vast I won’t tell youI am ready to sacrifice any thing just for youI won’t tell you my eyes will see you only my ears will hear you only my voice will reach you only my heart will beat for you onlyI won’t tell you Every corner of my heart Every moment of my life Is you I won’t tell you but that’s what I want to tell you what my heart wants to sayI won’t tell you. You shall just hear that I Love You. AM IN LOVE WITH YOU.

Sunday, July 13, 2008

This distance is unbearable...

This blog is plain n simple unlike others. I just wanna say in plain words without laces and bows. No rhyming n no lyrics...just words.
Entered my room...sitting on the window sill, gazing at the dark sky I remebered a sms. It brought tears to my eyes. A sms I don't ever wanna read again. It breaks me and shatters me deep inside. I haven't been able to believe what is happening right now. Am feeling lost and weary. Rejected and thrown away. All I do is wait...this wait is getting longer and painful. It is making me pretend...pretend to be happy, smiling, at ease, at peace, its not hurting or bothering me, strong and bold.
Am not all of this...am sad, crying, restless, violent, in pain n agony, shattered and abslutely broken. LOST.
WHY ???? Good Question....I ask myself a million times why am I feeling so bad. Why is it bothering me so much, why am I not able to overcome that sms, why can't I just live a normal life as for now????
The answer ............... I CAN'T. My breath, soul, happiness, laughter, reason to live, morsel of food, sunshine, love, ecstasy, passion is not with me. I am not in touch. I try to be very composed but when alone am looking here n there. See my mobile a thousand times in a minute to check if any missed call or sms.
The moment phone rings my heart skips a beat and then.... am sad again. I am unable to sleep properly as to make sure I don't miss the call or sms if I get them.
When I take a peek in the past few months...right now we would have been ttalking , laughing, listening music like "scientist" by Coldplay or " pyar hai ya sazaa" from Salaam-e-ishq and Songs from our favourite cd in his car.... check my inbox on gmail...xpecting a mail or maybe he's seen the cards I sent him long back...no notification yet....what do I do???
Will this ever happen again.....this one thought is killing me...Am absolutely lost...Don't know how am handling this....but now am unable to. IF YOU ARE READING THIS THEN PLEASE HUG ME. AM LONELY AND ALONE WITHOUT YOU. This distance n space is unbearable now.

All Alone..


I am alone. I am one soul.I am one person, being, whole.If I reach down to what is truth...I am alone, apart, aloof.
No one else can bear my fears;no one else can cry my tears.Nor can someone dream my dream,or understand what my moods all mean.
"No man is an island," a poet penned.On a wider view, this I comprehend;but getting down to the heart of it all,we are on our own, to stand or fall.
Nothing in life is ever sure.Can you guarantee me love will endure?Will you promise me that trust won't die?That friends won't leave me by and by?
No, I am alone, deep down inside,even though with those I love, I abide;because there's a spot no one can see,or touch or feel, in the soul of me.

Saturday, July 12, 2008

What If


Tomorrow..... I go away.


I wonder........ will I in your thoughts stay?

Will your thoughts be sublime?

or will I be........ out of sight,

out of mind?

Will you give some time

of me to ponder?

Will absence make

your heart grow fonder?

I Regret....


I said I wasn't fragile.I said I didn't care.I said it didn't matter if you weren't there.I said I wasn't weak.I said I wasn't base.I said I'd take care. I said I'd be strong.I said I'd stand tall. I said I feel you close without you here, but now I feel helpless and small. I still hear your voice,its husky tone.I still wear your green shirt that smells of your body.I still watch our sunsets with misty eyes.I still wanna always be addressed as BABYPIE...I still miss you...regret saying I'll handle as I can't now....Am alone...Come back jaana...

Thursday, July 10, 2008

Its very hard.....


Its hard for me - to be without you,the day goes by like its never going to end,i find it hard just to get by,i know why i feel like this,your such a wonderful soul,but i always went and mess things up,i'll just feel this pain and do what you say,face the loss - even tho i hope we'll be in touch again some day,i know that you hate me - i dont blame you,but i never meant to make you mad,but i always made you worries,i cant get you out my mind,its just hell without being with you,i'm lost without you there,i'll do anything to try and make up,you wont me to leave you alone,i respect that so i will. You want me to leave you alone....i can't live without you....i can't.....

Tuesday, June 24, 2008

I Am Losing now....

I long to cut myself to divert the pain from my soul.My heart is broken and my spirit crushed.The idea of death is bliss.The Lord to me is like bitter water,And a deserter in my time of need.I turn to Him, yet feel mocked.Acid eats my soul away,My heart bleeds from stabbing after merciless stabbing.My heart has no shield.I am hunched over from the great weight of burden upon me.I claim the Lord’s promises, only to be disappointedOne callous time after another.For the first time since I’ve know Him,Profanity pours out of my mouth.I feel my heart hardening,Yet this time I’m too hurt to let it stop.My face pales as the life drains away in the strain.I nearly faint out of weariness;My flesh can’t take the punishment of my soul.If my flesh were beaten to a pulp,It wouldn’t compare to the ghastliness of this.I look at my eyes in the mirror and see a frightened animal.I can brush my hair, but I can’t hide the despair,Torment, agony, and anguish in my eyes.I call from my heart of hearts, “Papa!”Yet the pain remains, the stabbing continues.I don’t want pity from those around me; I want compassion.The Lord feels cold and indifferent to my yelps.Shrieks come from my mouth as the tears fall.I hit my heart to urge the pain to stop.I fall on my knees at the mercy of One who seems merciless.
Oh that my broken spirit would be healed!My heart hardens against the Lord.Involuntary bitterness bites my soul like a viper.Such emptiness and loneliness makes me want to cry out in despair;Yet I know it will do no good.The Lord’s Almighty power becomes a weapon of the enemy against my mind;He has the power to heal, and yet does not.I desire what is not possible. I desire not to live, yet death holds no allure.I wish the spiritual realm would not exist, yet I do not want to live in the physical.Demons encircle me so that the Lord cannot be seen for who He is.Resentment begins to fester in a mire of self-pity.The tormenting whispers hasten “Curse Him! Curse Him! Curse Him!”Deception seems as truth; the Word seems false.Disappointments, weaknesses, and fears hound my senses.The enemy has stolen peace and joy;Now the unspeakable seemingly happens:Hope itself is quashed in heart-wrenching agony.Desire for the Lord is cut off; future ministry holds no appeal.My manipulated heart embraces dark deception:‘It’s not worth it!’ it cries.I groan under a burden that crushes my being.I try giving my yoke to the Lord, but it is seemingly refused.As my soul receives crushing blow after crushing blow,I murmur ‘I give in.’

Saturday, June 21, 2008

Family...The Need Of Today's Youth.

I was amazed to learn how can someone get so influenced by a movie to write a blog. Though I couldn't manage to watch the movie abut after reading the book
" NAMESAKE ," this is what I felt.........

The single most precious obsession in life for all of us is to be loved. We have an emotional confidence when we know that we're part of something special and that what we do matters. Family bonding gives us that strength and charisma, with an appreciation for life and hope to go on.
One of the common tragedies that hurts many families today is that they are being separated and torn apart. There is a loss of value and strong family bonding as they become only people living under the same roof. And who suffers the most? The children.
When family members bond they keep their identity as a family unit among the world of families, as people who will support each other through everything. The members retain their confidence that even though the world around them can be aggressive and cruel, they are safe because they have each other.
They may not have an abundance of earthly wares, but there is a love within their home that rises far above the need for material things. It's forever; it does not rust or warp or fade. It's a foundation that each life can depend on.
When parents separate, they often neglect the damage that it does to the innocent children. The separation forces them to lose the only thing they had, craved for and survived with, and that was the bond of love between all of them.
Parents need to recognize this and work hard at keeping a close relationship with the children. They need to put aside their own desires and focus on the needs and desires of the children until they are emotionally and mentally strong enough to know without a doubt that there is love between them and each of their parents.
Often, children will cling to each other and become each other's support for life. This bonding between them will make them strong and able to cope with other obstacles up ahead.
Many people have never suffered with this curse and have enjoyed the natural bonding or love that holds the family unit together. This is priceless and their lives will be testimony to its benefits.
Bonding is a love that lasts forever, and regardless of what comes against us, we know that we have someone who will support us and love us through it. It's the one staple of life that helps to mould us into healthy and productive adults.
And we might not win the Nobel Prize but we can stand tall and say, I am Loved.

Saturday, May 31, 2008

KEY TO MY HEART

I had closed the door upon my heart and wouldn't let anyone in, I trusted and loved only to be hurt. But that would never happen again.I had locked the door and tossed the keyAs hard, and as far as I could,Love would never enter there again,My heart was closed for good.Then you came into my lifeAnd made me change my mind,Just when I thought that tiny keywas impossible to find.That's when you held out your handAnd proved to me I was wrong,Inside your palm was the key to my heart...You had it all along

You Make Me Believe

What Is There,To Believe In During Life,Nothing Lasts,Aside From Strife,Life May Perish,Life May End,Our Soul We May Give,Our Soul We May Spend,But Our Love,That Eternal Flame,Will Never Dim,Will Never Change,It Will Forever Last,When All Other Lights Leave,For You Light My Life,You Make Me Believe.

Saturday, May 24, 2008

I don't know what I am feeling. Its been a long fight. I am on verge of giving up totally and surrender to death completely. Pray for me that if am reborn people should KNOW me.
This life has been a curse....am tired pretending to be happy and content. can't take it now.....
You Don't Know Me Some of you pretend to know me...some of you don't care to…close family, Friends. love or anyone...Hate me Or Kill me....You Don't Know Me.........
Deep Inside.
When I smile deep inside I wanna frown when I laugh deep inside I wanna cry when you look into my eyes You think every thing is alright But deep inside I wanna die maybe one day I won’t feel like this till then I’ll be happy in the outside and crying in the inside
Deep Inside.