This blog is plain n simple unlike others. I just wanna say in plain words without laces and bows. No rhyming n no lyrics...just words.
Entered my room...sitting on the window sill, gazing at the dark sky I remebered a sms. It brought tears to my eyes. A sms I don't ever wanna read again. It breaks me and shatters me deep inside. I haven't been able to believe what is happening right now. Am feeling lost and weary. Rejected and thrown away. All I do is wait...this wait is getting longer and painful. It is making me pretend...pretend to be happy, smiling, at ease, at peace, its not hurting or bothering me, strong and bold.
Am not all of this...am sad, crying, restless, violent, in pain n agony, shattered and abslutely broken. LOST.
WHY ???? Good Question....I ask myself a million times why am I feeling so bad. Why is it bothering me so much, why am I not able to overcome that sms, why can't I just live a normal life as for now????
The answer ............... I CAN'T. My breath, soul, happiness, laughter, reason to live, morsel of food, sunshine, love, ecstasy, passion is not with me. I am not in touch. I try to be very composed but when alone am looking here n there. See my mobile a thousand times in a minute to check if any missed call or sms.
The moment phone rings my heart skips a beat and then.... am sad again. I am unable to sleep properly as to make sure I don't miss the call or sms if I get them.
When I take a peek in the past few months...right now we would have been ttalking , laughing, listening music like "scientist" by Coldplay or " pyar hai ya sazaa" from Salaam-e-ishq and Songs from our favourite cd in his car.... check my inbox on gmail...xpecting a mail or maybe he's seen the cards I sent him long back...no notification yet....what do I do???
Will this ever happen again.....this one thought is killing me...Am absolutely lost...Don't know how am handling this....but now am unable to. IF YOU ARE READING THIS THEN PLEASE HUG ME. AM LONELY AND ALONE WITHOUT YOU. This distance n space is unbearable now.
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