I Love You Jaana....

I love him--the purity of his spirit,the endless kindness of his being,the smiles,the unsurpassed radiance in his eyes,the way he looks at me,and seems to see deep within me to a private place of beauty that no one else ever noticed.He knows me better than anyone else and he takes me to a place where no one has ever travelled, a place of serenity and light.He reaches beyond my body to the deepest area of my spirit,and the wind that passes between our souls is warm and eternal.I'm lucky to know him.I'm lucky to have him.To think that he chose meover any other,takes my breath away the gentleness in his touch,the way his face lights up when he hears me. AM so lucky to be loved by him.

I can live withoutso many things,but there's somethingtruly special thatI wouldn't want tolive without,something that gets methrough anythinglife brings to my door,and makes each dayworth living...your love!With that, I trulyhave it all. I Love Him...

Stars do fall..

I sit out here,Just one person comes to mind,I ask myself why,But no answer comes to mind,Maybe it’s because I miss him or maybe because I wish he was here by my side,But still no true answer comes to my mind,But as I sit here,My heart start beating faster and faster,Suddenly my heart skips a beat,I can't breathe I can't think I can't see,I'm perplexed,I ask myself why,But only one answer can come to mind,And it’s you,You are my kryptonite,You are the one that makes me weak,The one that I look forward to seeing every waking minute that I breathe,You are my all and am complete only when I say You. Yes its you who make me complete and alive. Loving someone who doesn’t love you is like watching a star…..You know you can never reach….But you just have to keep trying….why not???? Stars do fall!!!!!

Daybreak,Once again I watch as the sun creeps over the horizonSlowly, with a menacing fashion.Overcome with that familiar feeling, I sigh.It showers me with its antagonizing rays,Portraying nothing but false pretenses.Yet another realization...Another eternity I prevail.I feel the hands of despair grip tightlyHow will I ever break free?Would you deny me the air in my lungs?In a humane sense, no.Yet without you I have no existenceYou are the air I breathe,The blood that circulates throughout me.Hard and fast I fall,Back into reality's cold and barren embrace.It welcomes with me a distanced illusion.You've taken flight -Off on a journeyTo seek answers to the questions you behold.Every day I witness as you soar higher and higher.I smile -How beautiful it is to watch you transcend.With my head held high, a tear in my eye,I know you will be all right.The tear is hot and with one quick swoopIt falls...Searing the skin beneath that only guided its way.I wonder why.It was meant to be this way, they say;But they don't know -A brush of the hand -A stolen glance -Overrated? Never -Merely taken for granted.Isn't love supposed to hurt?Two souls connected...The unspoken words, mutual understanding -Why does it come and go?The piercing of the arrow to the heart.Appreciation is they key - the restA mere memory.And so, this thing we call life, continues on...An endless, uphill battle -Just what are we fighting for?Reciprocation?It's a fallacy.Two lives merged, heart and soul -Torn apart by sounds and syllables.Does the mind conceive emotion?That oh so powerful force, ruling over, always.Regret -Unavoidable!They say it helps to evolve.Indeed, I have watched you grow -Strong and healthy, invincible, even.Your roots are fearless and uncontainable -Spreading like wildfire in a desert wasteland,But they have been detached.No longer are you there - My lifeline - vanishedMemories, the secrets held close in the night, come to life,Sprung on me with undying force.I want to escape from this grip but I can't...Immobilized and locked by their each and every entanglement.I call out to you -Only to suffocate in disappointment,The bombardment of that echo.The hollow, empty sound of a voice,A voice that remains unanswered...A heart left to bleed.Crippled with grief, I crawl -Into the shadows.The only sound...The beating of my heart.It's deafening! Make it stop -Please, make it stop!The sunlight -Now permanently masked by the impending malice of the cloudOf your mere memory.This is not how it should have been.I see your silhouette soaring through the skies -You cast a glance downwardMomentarily, our eyes lock.And then it happens...This grieving chamber skips a beat.Could this be real?Could this be true?You, this amazing creature...Uninhibited, beautiful, up in the canvas of blue.I cry out, with arms stretched wide.I cannot let you forget -There's too much in the balance!As you approach, dizziness overwhelms -I try to look up but am blinded.The rays you secrete are that of pure enlightenment.You are so close,I can almost reach you.No matter how I try, I can't get to you.Sadness and frustration -Drowning me with a fierce undertow;Pulling me down beneath the lonely waters.I'm alone again -Fighting for the chance to survive;Fighting for the chance to love again.Again, this once content being's heart-Beats alone...I thrash around -Trying to avoid the inevitable.I'm going under...The mystical hands are beckoning me from within.Defeat is near.Exhaustion is bearing the embrace.All the while I think of you...I call out the eternal promises we made.I will not give up; I just can't.The love bursting from deep within me -Out every way it can;The chains fall free.The road to my heart is a passage that's clear.The water turns warm -The clouds part...I smile.It's been a long time since I have done that -Tears of happiness almost drown me in elation.I look up towards the sky -You are still at a distance;But I can feel your soul again.I direct a wave of love so great up into the air,Up your way...Though the wind now picks up...It is always in your power to grasp it.

Emptiness

I had once thought that maybe this was life.No love, no hate, no feelings.My deepest feelings would never be shared.I was so frightened,I didn't know what to do.Scared of this one man all my life.Face my fear, I told myself!But it's so hard, so confusing.Do you know what it's liketo wonder in darkness?It never stops, never ends.It goes on like a story with no ending.Do you know how it feelsto be afraid of somethingthat you can't do anything about?That you didn't ask for or even think about?Do you know what it's like? Do you know how it feels?It's complete and pure emptiness

Waiting....

I have been waiting for much to come along and know of everything that's here falling.Thinking nothing of nothing that could go wrong.In its site effects and where to it’s calling.Every invisible touch for each right hold.Taking holds and control of reaches apart.From build in ability that there unfold.When you from something to somewhere start.We don't really know what crawls from within.It’s never quite the same that we can trust.Feelings from inside like goose-flesh on skin.That to some mysteries is always lost.Catch the low and high of the invisible real.To give some holdings in how you can feel. The wait is endless........

Torn..Wtihout you

Lifeless days and solitary nights

Without you
Weighed heavy on my brow
In drugged stupor, my dreams cried
To touch and feel you
Split between virtual and reality
Sorrow, extremely painful
Hung like a curtain
Through smoke screen
Hazy you, looked uncertain
Forgotten memories of promises
‘I won't leave you’

Tears welled in my eyes
To quench my own thirst

Got to find out an answer first.......

Unexpressed Feelings

feelings unexpressed , thrown to slept under the layers of heart,are countless!aspirations went on no flight,

suppressed under the layers of thoughts,are countless!commotions went on no breath,hidden under the layers of emotions,are countless!the roars of the sea waves depressed,behind the lightening of eyes,are countless! once and only once,,if i could bring them to the stage,,,,,once and only once,,if i could set them free from the bondage,,,once and only once,, if i could give them the liberty they deserve,,,once and only once,,if i could lessen my heart's burden,,,,how nice it would be!

Emptiness

Why am I trapped in this cell No wall to keep me in I might as well run free With no care in the world And no friend As I run, I end up back in my cell alone, with no walls to keep me in and stabilized No friend to help me get through the day As each day goes by and passes, I run and I never get anywhere Back and forth Day after day Just running back to my jail cell Time after time I should just stay in my jail cell And never run again Til the dawning of a new era I shall stay for eternal in my jail cell... forever... Forget last night Trying to forget the pains I cause If he only knew About the secrets I keep Drowning, trapped In my own mistakes I can’t get out Trying to feel. Looking in all the wrong places To fulfill some need Loosing myself all the time To momentary highs Always followed by a crash Falling Felling like I’m in some kind of horrible wonderland Searching for a way out of this hole Finding solace in different arms. Pushed away by the love I have Wandering and searching For something to fulfill the emptiness I feel deep inside. Losing connections All that I loved Everything changes Never will be the same Trying to grasp… Catching air Leave me behind And let me dream It had never gone on I miss you I miss everything But it’s gone You’re gone Life is lost– My life Maybe but only memories .

Just Hold Me Now........

I'm hurt all the time. I don't want to cry for the way I feel inside. I just want someone to hold me... I'm alone in the dark, please try to find me. If no one cares, I don't see a point to go on. Anyone find me! Anyone care! I'm sorry, I just don't want to be alone anymore. I feel unheard and unseen. Depressed and weak. No one cares and yet I'm always the sorry one. Someone find me! I'm scared. Please hold me until it all ends. Just hold me that’s all I want. I don't want to be alone in the dark. Just hold me as I start to disappear from the light. Just hold me as I start to cry. Just hold me so I wont be alone inside. Just hold me so I don't do something wrong. Just hold me so tight, that for a moment I could feel the light....

My Land of Love is........

I think that I might fly away, in my hot air balloon,And hide from worldly worries on the dark side of the moon;There’s but one thing I need before I float into the blue:I need a sky companion and I want it to be you.We’ll fly beyond the storm clouds and we’ll watch from up above,I’ll cover you in rainbows as we feel each others’ love;You’ll shower in the stars at midnight in our special place,I’ll dry you with a comet’s tail and kiss your beaming face.Dreamy drifting panorama, changing every day,Every night your loving smile will be my milky way,The moon will wane before us, sailing there in heaven’s height,For nothing else can challenge our love’s everlasting light.Venus shining on us, glowing soft at our devotion,Our daily drifting dalliance in love’s celestial ocean,I’ll write you lovers’ poetry, and you will be my muse,Orion and Andromeda will oversee our cruise.We’ll sleep with clouds as pillows, maybe steal an angel’s wings,Then fly as magic lovebirds, or slide round Saturn’s rings,And should we tire of drifting and the stars all floating by,We’ll hook onto a meteor and soar across the sky.Will you consent to be my mate on our celestial ship?I’m ready, heart all packed with love, to last us for the trip,Take my hand and step aboard, we’re heading for the sun,We’re flying till we find the place where our two souls are one.