Waiting.........

Waiting
I'm frozen
Fighting
I'm freezing
Dieing
Don't you see
I'm so cold
without you here
beside me
Dreaming of the summer
That will never come
I'm stuck in a winter
That will never leave
No Autumn,
No spring
Nothing left for me
Because I'm frozen
I'm waiting for you
Frozen
I'm fighting for you

Fairies coming

Dancing around the glowing, deadly nightshade With the leaves swaying in a wind from another world as rain falls slowly to a unknown back beatThis is when the Fairies come into our human world. The full moon is the only watcher, As the blood red wings beat quickly. The night is silent, with no frogs on the lily pads croaking their joy of living and no owls hooting, the crickets fall silent and the grass doesn't sway even though, a pure black feather falls onto the mushroom, which glows a deeper green. This triggers off the ritual beginning and the clearing spins, faster and faster until a white light shines from within the nightshade and the Fairies go back to the homeworld, undiscovered.

If Dawn May Come........

Tired of the feelings burning right through my chest. The people leaving, the feelings gone...If life is nothing more but a test. Mine is a real hard one..I build a black wall and it was broken. I had a shelter and now it's gone. Talked to a person, but words remained unspoken. Now all remains is the promise of dawn. In the end there was noting I could do. Not my fault but still it hurts. I thought I died but there was you, Took away the worst pain with just a few words. I don't understand the road I'm walking, Nor the feelings crawling inside my head. I don't understand why you're even talkingto me, you're my only threat. I could carry everyone's painbut my own is just too much...I fear everything might just be in vain. But I still remember your silent touch. I've been falling an endless fall and your dawn just might be the one who pulls me through it allor the one who kills me..

Innocence Lost Forever...........

Its been twenty years now but still that night traumatises me and shakes me inside. Can't talk about it to anyone so writing it here.......

I was only eight when it beganLate at night, when I was alone.You preyed on my innocence and my trust.How did I know that it was wrong?You did things so horrible to me,My soul and body were bared.What you did to that little girlLeft me feeling alone and scared.You said it was to show your loveBy taking my body for your use.But now I know that what happened to me Wasn't love; it was abuse.All the dirty things you did to meWon't wash away with rain.Nothing on earth will rid my heartOf this neverending pain.I hope that you hurt as much as I do,Or do you even remember what you did?Nothing will make up for the pain you causedWhen I was just a kid.The physical scars you put on my bodyHave since healed with time.But my pain still shows on the outsideWhenever the child inside of me starts to cry.That little eight year old girlHad to grow up way too soon.And all of the hurt and pain that you have causedWill always be remembered, like a flower that forever blooms.

I pray no one looses their innocence ever..............

My Dad......

Give 'em a hug, a great big kiss.Because one day, he will be greatly missed.My daddy has gone far away from this land,I miss the precious touch of his loving hands.I never knew last year was the last day,I could look at my daddy, hug him, and say:"I love you, Daddy! "Don't let one day go by without telling himhow dear he is!Remember you may not have another year to tell him this!All I have now is great memories, a heartfull of love and eyes full of tears, andto remember his love throughout the years.Now I will have to look up at the stars andsay, "I love you, Daddy! Happy Father's Day!"Please remember when you pray, to thank your heavenly father up above. For your father he gave you with so much love.

Why Do You Turn Away ?

I am a little bit of loneliness, a little bit of disregard. Handful of complaints but I can’t help the fact that everyone can see these scars. I am what I want you to want, what I want you to feel. But it's like no matter what I do, I can't convince you, to just believe this is real. So I let go, watching you, turn your back like you always do. Face away and pretend that I'm not. But I'll be here 'cause you're all that I got. I am a little bit insecure a little unconfident Cause you don't understand , I do what I can but sometimes I don't make sense. I am what you never wanna say but I've never had a doubtIt's like no matter what I do I can't convince you for once just to hear me out. So I let go watching you turn your back like you always do. i know am jinxed and you feel uncomfortable now. I don't say it but then I know you feel it. Things aren't the same between us now. Thats's what i feel.

Wish time could turn back.

I

Why An Innocent Baby Is Suffering ?

I have no answer to this nor am I looking for an answer as I know that no one can answer this. Some people say that he'll be fine, others say that it'll take time, get mercy killing done, his end is near, don't make him suffer, god take him away peacefully if he's not gonna recover....this is what various people have to say. And then..... there is the vet who kindles hope in me that he'll recover. A peaceful face with a little worry and at the same time a smile is the expression the vet always has.

Whom do I believe ? My heart and mind both are numb. I am very scared as to what will happen to my little baby. I don't wanna loose him but at that same time I can't see him dragging himself, not eating a gospel, not being able to urinate, crying in middle of the night and looking at me helplessly as he can't express his pain and I can't understand why he wails. I hug him and make him lie close to me so that he feels owned and secured. Forcibly make him have a few spoons of milk and water.

He used to run and come to me when I said " Do you wanna have a chocolate or a coffe bite or an eclair? " Sniffing my handbag for his favourite sweets or chocolates, running behind us for sweets, egg and chicken. Now, he doesn't wanna eat any of these. He turns his face away. Running everywhere, rolling down to get cuddled, quietly jumping on the bed and teasing me, sitting outside the kitched wagging his tail for his favourite Gajar Ka Halwa.....this is all he used to do and now lying down in one place or dragging himself to other. Can't stop my tears.......He is in pain. Alot of pain.

Why ?? I can't see him like this. I only pray that if he has more time to live then please Almighty make him mobile so that he is able to urinate himself rather than lying down n catching other ailments. If not then please take him peacefully without any further suffering.

I am not being selfish or too strong by saying this. He is my precious baby and I love him alot but then I don't want him to suffer. I know what I feel when I say this. My heart and soul cries..........

Those who read this blog please pray for my little one.

For The One I Cherish and Owe My Life To.....

Time and again I have seenPlaces full of green grassWith flowers scattered all aroundA soothing breeze cools the skin.
Time and again I stumbled and fellOnly to find dead leaves, dried grassWithered flowers that lost their fragrance long agoA warm breeze pierces the skin.
Then from nowhere…You came and brought sunshinePlaced that constant smile on my lipsGave that extra bounce to my steps.
You came in glory…Finding me in my hiding placeOffering your handShining, leading the way through.
Now, my days are brighterFull of life and promise,You gave a new significance to my life…I love you…
"You're the best thing that ever happened to me."

Empty Within

Looking out the window,I see cloudy skies, Not a single star shines.
A cold air blows,S ends chills upon my spine. I see lights from a distance Creating shadows. All alone I stand by my window Awaiting the light of day...Blue skies and stars glimmer in the distance And a full moon’s rays casting shadows upon my hand as I write. Lampposts light the street down below. A lonely, well-lighted street With cars parked alongside darkly-lit houses. There’s stillness in the air. The trees stand tall their leaves and branches unmoving. Dogs bark at a distance As a cock crows,Thoughts ...Memories...Creating a hazy scene of silence . I stand here all alone feeling a strange emptiness.

Dedicated to MUAH BABY........

Hey there,
We all go through this phase and Guilt is no solution. You are a wonderful son as you care and think about them. That's what matters. You are what you are. And even they know it that you care for them. Family is important and spending time with them is essential. They can be wrong but then somewhere we also go wrong. Space is required but not to the extent that we forget each other. You don't have to feel so bad as you not at fault. This happens. Trivial reasons can form big barriers and its never too late to break them.ITs great that you are ready t take a stp foward. Remember the day when you wished him Father's Day....he must have been very happy inside. A "How are you n how was your day ?" will do wonders. Strength of love and compassion holds when weakness knocks the door. It always finds the way to cover up the hurtful mistakes with some super glue. A forgive and forget and learn to love again.
Family is one who will be by your side through out your entire life. They are the people who cherish you and turn to you when everything is going wrong. your parents show you how to do the most important things in life which are to love and to be loved. They also give you the chance to do whatever you choose in life without making you do what they want you to. Family is what will always be by your side and you feel that they deserve the most credit for forming the person who to care, to love, and to fight. Remember that you really are a wonderful son. never doubt it.