After hearing what I really feared always I feel like ending myself. Yes the marks on my wrist keep increasing. It waits or one final cut to release the ongoing pain.
All I want to do is cut myself. Let the pain show. I wish I had the knife in my hand. I wish i was in pain on the outside instead of on the inside. I'm crying but i don't feel release. I want that feeling of knowing I'm alive, Knowing I'm not just broken on the inside. I want to show my pain to the world.I want to show my pain to myself. I hate this feeling of nothingness, Death calls to me. I'm about to answer the phone, I want to answer the phone so bad. To feel that release I want to cut myself. I want to release this hatred .I hate myself so much I cant stand the way i look, the way i act, the way i sound and I look in the mirror now and i have to look away. I cant even look at myself anymore. I wish i was dead. Maybe that wish will come true,I want to make it so i never come back. I want them to see me, Why am i so fucked up to be thinking this way?I hate it.I'm disgusting...I want to take my life and throw it away.I'm not writing this for anyones pity. Keep it to yourself... Sympathy is just another wasted emotion.I wish i had that little push to just kill myself. So many wishes... Yet only one or two will come true. I will make them come true . For i am the only one who can. I hate this lifeI hate this world But i hate myself even more...
No comments:
Post a Comment