The book was suggestd long back by my JAANA....

On the edge of life I have beautiful memories of my relationship. Didn't want to leave anything that my soul regrets so I gott my hands on this book and asked Josephine to read it out to me.

"A wonderful wonderful book. A sports writer looks up his old college professor after hearing of his illness and the relationship between the two that rekindles after years apart. This book should be read by people of all ages. These are the life lessons that Morrie passed down to Mitch Albom, and Mitch was kind enough to share them with the world. This book touched me and made me think about the things that are really important in life. This book is a MUST read. Buy this book for yourself, then pass it on to a person you love: mother, father, sister, brother, wife, husband, friend or teenager, everyone should read this book. "A true story of the meaning of life put into 192 pages might seem unimaginable, but Mitch Albom does it all. Telling his story about a teacher who changed his life by showing him the true reasons we were put here, and the things we should cherish. Albom starts as an average journalist to find that his favorite college professor is dying. He travels many miles and meets with his old teacher every Tuesday, and Morrie, his old professor teaches him new things about life, and what we should really look for. Mitch realizes how much better his life is with all the help from Morrie, and becomes a better person. Its a heart warming, book that gives us all a lesson in the end.
One reading of the preface and the 1st chapter “ the Curriculum”of the book, Tuesdays with Morrie’ by Mitch Albom is enough to touch that sensitive chord in your heart and move you to want to read the book. While lines like ‘ A funeral was held in lieu of graduation’ and ‘Last class of my old professor’s life had only one student. I was the student,’ bring tears to your eyes, ‘kissing him good-bye earned you extra credit’ brings a wistful smile too. Humor and pathos are finely woven into the fabric of the narration. You cannot miss it.
The “Contents” section does not mention the little details that come between chapters, but like the chorus in a drama they connect the past to the present. The first one brings a live picture of the professor. The author makes an honest observation when he says ‘maybe I didn’t want to forget him. Maybe I didn’t want him to forget me, when he gives his favorite teacher a gift. Makes you wonder ‘ Isn’t this a universal thought?’
Was this his syllabus for life? Does he prescribe this for his students? His reaction when he realized that he was suffering from the slow life taking disease ALS (amyotrophic lateral sclerosis) is “How did I get it?” The reader echoes the same- “How did he get it?”
“ALS is like a candle..it melts your nerves and leaves your body a pile of wax.” The author’s description of the disease, permits even laypersons understand it. Choices are limited when one is afflicted with a fatal ailment but the good part is that choices can be made. “Do I wither up, or do I make the best of my time left?”, the professor had asked himself . This appears in the beginning of the narration but we know the professor well enough. We know the choice he would eventually make. He would make death his final project. He would prove that dying was not synonymous with ‘ useless’.
Everything about the book is wonderfully summed up here: ‘Morrie left a wonderful legacy--- reminding us gently and persistently what is really important in life’-

India...My Dream

India begins with ‘I’…I that is,’me’.
I have a dream, India of my dreams. It is true that one person can not solve all the big problems–say removing corruption from society or to educate every child or to fix all broken roads, but One person can still do lot of Small things and if each of this ONE PERSON does these SMALL THINGS, the SUM-TOTAL will be very LARGE. So, the nation must be shaped at its foundation…That is, at the level of YOUTH. And the foundation of youth is shaped with PRIMARY EDUCATION. The youth is taught patriotism, strong leadership & moral values at schools. We cannot think of competing with the best in the world when most of the India is still primitive in imparting the basic education. India is creating an army of unemployable youth with each passing year.Vocational training to educated and semi-educated rural youth in collaboration with industry with reasonable assurance of job opportunity will help the situation.The other national priorities include INCLUSIVE GROWTH (Rural & urban), ESSENTIAL SERIVCES (Health, Education for poor) & INFRASTRUCTURE. Providing non-agricultural jobs in rural areas, Micro finance schemes for farmers, trying to improve the agricultural productivity, providing more funding towards infrastructures and medical centres could be the solution. Honest and principled leaders could bring about a drastic change in our country by bringing down the rate of corruption. This would automatically wipe out a lot of dirt and hollowness from our country, and help it to grow stronger.

A Vision It has always been the dream of every citizen of an economically backward and poor country, to see that the country developed with no negative systems or ideas or beliefs. It is my dream also to see India as one of the most developed nations. 2020 is a good deadline for seeing a developed India. One always feels sad when we see someone begging on the streets or when we see dirty, broken roads in shabby slums. One also feels jealous when we hear about the United States advancing in every field. By 2020, India will be on the same platform on which America is now. The first and foremost thing I see in India 2020 is 100 percent literacy rate. Every citizen in the country will be able to read, write and understand any one language including the farmers and slum-dwellers. India will not have any unemployment. The people will earn their bread and there shall be none called ‘beggars’. The beggars will also be employed at least as sweepers earning a small but a salary of their own. The people shall be above the poverty line. India in 2020 will not have an article saying ‘ India of my Dream’ but would give the wrld an idea of how we started Dream India 2020 and what our initial activities were. This will help people who want to start such activities in their own localities, but are at a loss as to how to carry them out.
Lets join hands and make India our Dream country, the same Golden bird.

YOU ARE MY ANGEL....

To the one I love, the one I adore,My only goal in life, the one I live for -

Though we might fight more than we get along,I hope our relationship will never go wrong.

When I remember those times and recall your voice,I think of the past because I really have no choice.I tell you that at many times, you've wiped away my tears,And at many other times, you've thrown away my fears.Please don't ask why because I can't exactly say how,But it doesn't really matter because you're gone from me now.Just remember that at anytime, anywhere,To me you could look because I'll always care.Even though we are far away,I'll never forget our happiest of moments shared.Tell me your problems, I'll understand.Tell me your needs, and I'll reach out my hand.But now that's just a fantasy, as true as it may seem.Yes, you my LOVE are just a dream.For always I've wanted your hands to hold,Because I wanted your love, it was more valuable than gold..I wondered many times about the relationship we hadWhat wrong did I do, to make it so bad?I gave everything you wanted, almost anything.I gave you my heart, my everything.But I've lost you now, you're going away,Just remember that I'll forget you never.Yes, loving you was worth the risk, though it may break my heart in two.But I'm glad that I had taken it because it brought me closer to you. I love to be with you, I love you around;I'm so glad I'm the one you found.Though you may not see what you mean to me,My love for you will always be.I know you love me and I know you care;That's why I treasure the love we share.I want you to know I'm here for you,Whatever it is I'll help you through.To the one I love, the one I adore,My love grows every day more and more.

I Love You Jaana....

I love him--the purity of his spirit,the endless kindness of his being,the smiles,the unsurpassed radiance in his eyes,the way he looks at me,and seems to see deep within me to a private place of beauty that no one else ever noticed.He knows me better than anyone else and he takes me to a place where no one has ever travelled, a place of serenity and light.He reaches beyond my body to the deepest area of my spirit,and the wind that passes between our souls is warm and eternal.I'm lucky to know him.I'm lucky to have him.To think that he chose meover any other,takes my breath away the gentleness in his touch,the way his face lights up when he hears me. AM so lucky to be loved by him.

I can live withoutso many things,but there's somethingtruly special thatI wouldn't want tolive without,something that gets methrough anythinglife brings to my door,and makes each dayworth living...your love!With that, I trulyhave it all. I Love Him...

Stars do fall..

I sit out here,Just one person comes to mind,I ask myself why,But no answer comes to mind,Maybe it’s because I miss him or maybe because I wish he was here by my side,But still no true answer comes to my mind,But as I sit here,My heart start beating faster and faster,Suddenly my heart skips a beat,I can't breathe I can't think I can't see,I'm perplexed,I ask myself why,But only one answer can come to mind,And it’s you,You are my kryptonite,You are the one that makes me weak,The one that I look forward to seeing every waking minute that I breathe,You are my all and am complete only when I say You. Yes its you who make me complete and alive. Loving someone who doesn’t love you is like watching a star…..You know you can never reach….But you just have to keep trying….why not???? Stars do fall!!!!!

Daybreak,Once again I watch as the sun creeps over the horizonSlowly, with a menacing fashion.Overcome with that familiar feeling, I sigh.It showers me with its antagonizing rays,Portraying nothing but false pretenses.Yet another realization...Another eternity I prevail.I feel the hands of despair grip tightlyHow will I ever break free?Would you deny me the air in my lungs?In a humane sense, no.Yet without you I have no existenceYou are the air I breathe,The blood that circulates throughout me.Hard and fast I fall,Back into reality's cold and barren embrace.It welcomes with me a distanced illusion.You've taken flight -Off on a journeyTo seek answers to the questions you behold.Every day I witness as you soar higher and higher.I smile -How beautiful it is to watch you transcend.With my head held high, a tear in my eye,I know you will be all right.The tear is hot and with one quick swoopIt falls...Searing the skin beneath that only guided its way.I wonder why.It was meant to be this way, they say;But they don't know -A brush of the hand -A stolen glance -Overrated? Never -Merely taken for granted.Isn't love supposed to hurt?Two souls connected...The unspoken words, mutual understanding -Why does it come and go?The piercing of the arrow to the heart.Appreciation is they key - the restA mere memory.And so, this thing we call life, continues on...An endless, uphill battle -Just what are we fighting for?Reciprocation?It's a fallacy.Two lives merged, heart and soul -Torn apart by sounds and syllables.Does the mind conceive emotion?That oh so powerful force, ruling over, always.Regret -Unavoidable!They say it helps to evolve.Indeed, I have watched you grow -Strong and healthy, invincible, even.Your roots are fearless and uncontainable -Spreading like wildfire in a desert wasteland,But they have been detached.No longer are you there - My lifeline - vanishedMemories, the secrets held close in the night, come to life,Sprung on me with undying force.I want to escape from this grip but I can't...Immobilized and locked by their each and every entanglement.I call out to you -Only to suffocate in disappointment,The bombardment of that echo.The hollow, empty sound of a voice,A voice that remains unanswered...A heart left to bleed.Crippled with grief, I crawl -Into the shadows.The only sound...The beating of my heart.It's deafening! Make it stop -Please, make it stop!The sunlight -Now permanently masked by the impending malice of the cloudOf your mere memory.This is not how it should have been.I see your silhouette soaring through the skies -You cast a glance downwardMomentarily, our eyes lock.And then it happens...This grieving chamber skips a beat.Could this be real?Could this be true?You, this amazing creature...Uninhibited, beautiful, up in the canvas of blue.I cry out, with arms stretched wide.I cannot let you forget -There's too much in the balance!As you approach, dizziness overwhelms -I try to look up but am blinded.The rays you secrete are that of pure enlightenment.You are so close,I can almost reach you.No matter how I try, I can't get to you.Sadness and frustration -Drowning me with a fierce undertow;Pulling me down beneath the lonely waters.I'm alone again -Fighting for the chance to survive;Fighting for the chance to love again.Again, this once content being's heart-Beats alone...I thrash around -Trying to avoid the inevitable.I'm going under...The mystical hands are beckoning me from within.Defeat is near.Exhaustion is bearing the embrace.All the while I think of you...I call out the eternal promises we made.I will not give up; I just can't.The love bursting from deep within me -Out every way it can;The chains fall free.The road to my heart is a passage that's clear.The water turns warm -The clouds part...I smile.It's been a long time since I have done that -Tears of happiness almost drown me in elation.I look up towards the sky -You are still at a distance;But I can feel your soul again.I direct a wave of love so great up into the air,Up your way...Though the wind now picks up...It is always in your power to grasp it.

Emptiness

I had once thought that maybe this was life.No love, no hate, no feelings.My deepest feelings would never be shared.I was so frightened,I didn't know what to do.Scared of this one man all my life.Face my fear, I told myself!But it's so hard, so confusing.Do you know what it's liketo wonder in darkness?It never stops, never ends.It goes on like a story with no ending.Do you know how it feelsto be afraid of somethingthat you can't do anything about?That you didn't ask for or even think about?Do you know what it's like? Do you know how it feels?It's complete and pure emptiness

Waiting....

I have been waiting for much to come along and know of everything that's here falling.Thinking nothing of nothing that could go wrong.In its site effects and where to it’s calling.Every invisible touch for each right hold.Taking holds and control of reaches apart.From build in ability that there unfold.When you from something to somewhere start.We don't really know what crawls from within.It’s never quite the same that we can trust.Feelings from inside like goose-flesh on skin.That to some mysteries is always lost.Catch the low and high of the invisible real.To give some holdings in how you can feel. The wait is endless........

Torn..Wtihout you

Lifeless days and solitary nights

Without you
Weighed heavy on my brow
In drugged stupor, my dreams cried
To touch and feel you
Split between virtual and reality
Sorrow, extremely painful
Hung like a curtain
Through smoke screen
Hazy you, looked uncertain
Forgotten memories of promises
‘I won't leave you’

Tears welled in my eyes
To quench my own thirst

Got to find out an answer first.......

Unexpressed Feelings

feelings unexpressed , thrown to slept under the layers of heart,are countless!aspirations went on no flight,

suppressed under the layers of thoughts,are countless!commotions went on no breath,hidden under the layers of emotions,are countless!the roars of the sea waves depressed,behind the lightening of eyes,are countless! once and only once,,if i could bring them to the stage,,,,,once and only once,,if i could set them free from the bondage,,,once and only once,, if i could give them the liberty they deserve,,,once and only once,,if i could lessen my heart's burden,,,,how nice it would be!

Emptiness

Why am I trapped in this cell No wall to keep me in I might as well run free With no care in the world And no friend As I run, I end up back in my cell alone, with no walls to keep me in and stabilized No friend to help me get through the day As each day goes by and passes, I run and I never get anywhere Back and forth Day after day Just running back to my jail cell Time after time I should just stay in my jail cell And never run again Til the dawning of a new era I shall stay for eternal in my jail cell... forever... Forget last night Trying to forget the pains I cause If he only knew About the secrets I keep Drowning, trapped In my own mistakes I can’t get out Trying to feel. Looking in all the wrong places To fulfill some need Loosing myself all the time To momentary highs Always followed by a crash Falling Felling like I’m in some kind of horrible wonderland Searching for a way out of this hole Finding solace in different arms. Pushed away by the love I have Wandering and searching For something to fulfill the emptiness I feel deep inside. Losing connections All that I loved Everything changes Never will be the same Trying to grasp… Catching air Leave me behind And let me dream It had never gone on I miss you I miss everything But it’s gone You’re gone Life is lost– My life Maybe but only memories .

Just Hold Me Now........

I'm hurt all the time. I don't want to cry for the way I feel inside. I just want someone to hold me... I'm alone in the dark, please try to find me. If no one cares, I don't see a point to go on. Anyone find me! Anyone care! I'm sorry, I just don't want to be alone anymore. I feel unheard and unseen. Depressed and weak. No one cares and yet I'm always the sorry one. Someone find me! I'm scared. Please hold me until it all ends. Just hold me that’s all I want. I don't want to be alone in the dark. Just hold me as I start to disappear from the light. Just hold me as I start to cry. Just hold me so I wont be alone inside. Just hold me so I don't do something wrong. Just hold me so tight, that for a moment I could feel the light....

My Land of Love is........

I think that I might fly away, in my hot air balloon,And hide from worldly worries on the dark side of the moon;There’s but one thing I need before I float into the blue:I need a sky companion and I want it to be you.We’ll fly beyond the storm clouds and we’ll watch from up above,I’ll cover you in rainbows as we feel each others’ love;You’ll shower in the stars at midnight in our special place,I’ll dry you with a comet’s tail and kiss your beaming face.Dreamy drifting panorama, changing every day,Every night your loving smile will be my milky way,The moon will wane before us, sailing there in heaven’s height,For nothing else can challenge our love’s everlasting light.Venus shining on us, glowing soft at our devotion,Our daily drifting dalliance in love’s celestial ocean,I’ll write you lovers’ poetry, and you will be my muse,Orion and Andromeda will oversee our cruise.We’ll sleep with clouds as pillows, maybe steal an angel’s wings,Then fly as magic lovebirds, or slide round Saturn’s rings,And should we tire of drifting and the stars all floating by,We’ll hook onto a meteor and soar across the sky.Will you consent to be my mate on our celestial ship?I’m ready, heart all packed with love, to last us for the trip,Take my hand and step aboard, we’re heading for the sun,We’re flying till we find the place where our two souls are one.

I HATE MESELF MORE.........

After hearing what I really feared always I feel like ending myself. Yes the marks on my wrist keep increasing. It waits or one final cut to release the ongoing pain.

All I want to do is cut myself. Let the pain show. I wish I had the knife in my hand. I wish i was in pain on the outside instead of on the inside. I'm crying but i don't feel release. I want that feeling of knowing I'm alive, Knowing I'm not just broken on the inside. I want to show my pain to the world.I want to show my pain to myself. I hate this feeling of nothingness, Death calls to me. I'm about to answer the phone, I want to answer the phone so bad. To feel that release I want to cut myself. I want to release this hatred .I hate myself so much I cant stand the way i look, the way i act, the way i sound and I look in the mirror now and i have to look away. I cant even look at myself anymore. I wish i was dead. Maybe that wish will come true,I want to make it so i never come back. I want them to see me, Why am i so fucked up to be thinking this way?I hate it.I'm disgusting...I want to take my life and throw it away.I'm not writing this for anyones pity. Keep it to yourself... Sympathy is just another wasted emotion.I wish i had that little push to just kill myself. So many wishes... Yet only one or two will come true. I will make them come true . For i am the only one who can. I hate this lifeI hate this world But i hate myself even more...

Wanna Cry...

I'm not bleeding, though my heart feels pierced,I'm not wounded, though the pain remains fierce. I'm killing myself from the inside out and now my head's been filled with doubt. There are so many days I want to drop all pretences and just show everyone the scars -the scars of wounds that shall never heal. There are so many days I want to break down and cry - just feel alive.Look behind the mask, look into these eyes. Look into the cracks of that fake stage smile.I'll try to push you away, or might run a mileI just need to know you'll still be mine"would you hold me if you saw i was brokenand slit my wrist againwould you tie me to a bed and hold me.""i'm just strong enough to let go of my painto hell with my pride let it fall like rain from my eyes tonight i wanna cry"

I Did Care for Him

Just a few minutes ago...He said there will be no other dog in the house.....WHY? and the answer came I didn't take care of my previous one. Its not true...it isn't.
I loved Naughty more than my own self. He was my son n not a dog. I never felt so low regarding Naughty but right now am feeling very bad....I iss my baby and only I know the pain of loosing him. I am not justifying myself over here but just wantning myself n Naughty to know that I still love him n will always love him. No other pet can take his place. His loss is beyond words can ecpress. I know and am sure wherever Naughty is he knows it.
His illness broke me down completely...I still cry when I think of him...there are times I still feel him near me. I just don't ake it obvious to others n I don't want to. That's why I am here on blog xpressing what I am feeling right now. I really took proper care....treated him like my own child. Then why is it assumed I didn't take care of him. I did....I tried my best to save his life but I failed like always...........I failed........

I too wanna be loved...........

I am just as this...a painting on a wall. Someone else has created me from their own mind and creativity and so I hang straight.

Reactions from many I await. The most common opinions are of so... "that's a nice one... but not nice enough to love or care." So there I remain.. I am one of a kind. Maybe that is why... I cannot be loved or cared. Oh please, Mr. Painter Sir, My story must be told. May I just have a written description My reason for being so bold? Maybe then those people would begin seeing. Then I would be sold then brought to a home, and loved like the other's. I know that I am different but all I want...is to be loved like the other's.

Love is Unconditional.

It may be easy to look around our world today and see the appearance of chaos, difficulty and strife. Yet, when we come from an open heart, we can also see our opportunity to love all things into balance, joy, harmony and peace. This planet does not need more visions of desperation, fear, doubt and hate - it requires an abundance of love, especially unconditional love, to heal and restore the beauty contained in every moment. This becomes the easier path once we take the first step and begin to share our love.
When we bring unconditional love back into our personal, professional, community and family lives, we begin the journey of restoring wholeness and happiness to our planetary adventure. Of course it takes determined effort on our part as the old ways of being are quick to return in our mind. However, this effort to love is rewarded with a new perspective on everything and all life benefits as a result.Unconditional Love is a dynamic and powerful energy that lifts us through the most difficult times. It is available at any moment by turning our attention to it and using its wonderful potential to free us from our limitations. It requires practice and intent to allow this energy to fully permeate our daily experience. It begins with ourselves, for without self-love, we cannot know what true love can be. In loving ourselves, we allow the feeling to generate within us and then we can share it to everyone and everything around us!

And it is this UNCONDITIONAL LOVE which keeps me going...fighting and breathing.

Will Tomorrow Be Better ??

A lifetime of worry and regret, filled with fears and unfulfilled dreams not met. Not yet, no safety yet, losing life's bet and nothing to show for it but tears and my sweat.I hide behind a mask.

You can't see my face looking at first glance I'm in a happy place. The truth is, that's a lie but you can't really tell that. At the back of my mind I think the world should rot in hell. What's the point of living if we are all going to die. What's the point of being happy if in the end we're going to cry. But this is something no one sees, something no one knows and yet deep inside of me this feeling of hatred grows. So even though this mask reveals a happy side of me, I use the mask as a shield to look at what others can never see. At the end of each day the heart whispers, Let tomorrow come and no matter how many are the days there is still one more to view. For the heart knows not of age and its fading stage. It does fear the night and lives for the mornings first light.Till the end of the day when it whispers, Let tomorrow come..

NO END TO MY SORROW......

It's dark, cold and foggy everywhere. It seems ghost are behind every corner. Memories of happines, sorrow and pain are whispered in my ear. I feel I am not safe. Everynight vampires of my memories come out and feed on my soul. I try to get out of there as fast as I can

And I get up Shaking to my core.

This is what it's like when I look inside myself...There is a tugging at my skin like I don't quite fit in it anymore. I'm in the wrong place, wrong body and I can't escape. I dont belong here, as this person, it feels all wrong. This is not who I am. The room of my desires turned cold killing all the life in me. They say you grow stronger after every battle. But this isn't who I want be. The fire in my heart has been put out. I'm running out of reasons to believe. They said life is the greatest game you'll ever play. Again I've been deceived. If I knew before that there would be no way to win I would have given up a life time before but now I’m locked up in these chains and there's just no point in this anymore. I've spent every fucking day sweeping the broken pieces off the floor and no matter what door I hide behind I'm always finding more. It just hurts to much to explain how it truly feels to be alive and despite what they will tell you....There’s pain behind everyone’s eyes. Now I’m just pulling out my hair and I've fallen past the ground. There truly are no better days, no reasons to be found. If we're all born innocent yet we all end up right here. Then it's not hell we should be afraid of but life itself that we should fear.

So please just lay me to sleep and pray for me to never wake up again, put me out of my misery, I just can't do this again. I feel like the fallen angels of yesterday struggling to see tomorrow. And it doesn't matter how loud I cry..... There’s no escape from my sorrow.

I WANNA UNMASK N UNLEASH THE INNNER ME.

I FEEL LIKE UNMASKING MYSELF NOW. tHIS LIFE FEELS AS IF i AM WEARING A MASK. I am tired of being someone who everybody want me to be. Trapped and scared in my own insecurities.I just wanna be free...unleash and unmask the inner me. Do you know how it feels to be walking in someone else's shoes , and to be confined to whatever they do? I know exactly what it feels n how it feels within because right now I am living a life that is a lie...a life which is insane. I'm ashamed to show who really I am. The things people say hurt me because I really am not me. These empty spaces are killing me. People look at me in strange ways, making it hard for me to get through. They talk n talk all things bout me and times it seems its all true. I have started feeling very lone though I know he is there but still I feel something is pulling me away. I can feel silence when everything is loud n shrieking. Its a complete black hole kind of feeling which am going through. I wanna me myself...I wanna unmask myself. Don't wanna be discrete with my ifestyle. I wanna feel that my living is not a sin and torture for others.

The Word's... Retrograde Amnesia

Facing a sudden memory loss can be scary and disorienting. You are suddenly thrust into an unfamiliar territory that is frightening and unsettling.
Some people think that those having amnesia are senial but it isn't so. They suffer from a trauma...emotional or physical, and loose some part of their memory which could be pre or post trauma. So easy to explain but.......extremely difficult to be a patient and suffer memory loss. The attack comes in bouts...bits...and you are torn that moment. You are adifferent person and live in a different world. They know they are sufferers but aren't aware what they do when under attack.
I feel like breaking the barrires and run away....
This state leaves me lost, drops me into a never ending black hole. I want to get help...but not from psychatrists or asylum. Come on....you guys really think all this helps...then lemme tell you...it worsens the condition. This is not what I want in my life, itss not the answer to my problems, it effects my mind and my thoughts. It worsens my angerwhich lashes out at people. It makes me feel no one wants me or cares for me. Every one wants to get rid of me and my loss...I need help, love, support and not being thrown somewhere I dont belong to. Don't send me where I will forget myself. Am not happy...not happy within...never will be. I am alone dealing with my grief these days. Don't abandon me...I need you all with me...I am going away....hold me back please.........

Losing all I can see. Nothing remains. Dripping slowly away the tides recede and I stand alone. I look down from the precipice that is my life and wonder where the tides go.

Will they return to fillmy gaping soul?or will the waters dry to flow no more and leave me standing and breathless? all I can do is wait. Watching from my precipice, all I can do is wonder.

Confusion Anxiety Anger and Pain Despair Hatred Isn't it all the same?

Turmoil Anguish Pity and Revenge SpurnCondemn When is it going to end?

Loneliness Hear ache Must I be disturbed?

Desolate Forlorn Will I always be alone?

The naked truth is the final trait of reality.

I am without speech, for my words are offensive. I am without sight, for it is clouded. I am without heart, for it has hardened. I am without sound, for it has muffled. I am without soul, for it has drowned. I am scared as I feel alone and seceived by all I thought cared for me.

Window panes come crashing down amidst the tears and paivVanishing hopes are gone and flew away Up above through twilight. Shadows cast across the floor Reflections of the past. Trembling thoughts of one Dwelling deep within the soul. A mystical sense of reality Captured by the craze. All in bewilderment Of the shock in the wave. A shudder, a scream, darkness envelops my soul

Will I be released???